The Wedding Crashers
by AryaAliceLuna
Summary: Renesmee is now 10 years old. A fully grown half-vampire/half-human! Jacob want to propose. Edward wants to protect his baby girl. Renesmee finds out the truth about Jacob and her mom. Seth pranks people. Bella is in love! Jacob/Renesmee Don't own! No sue


Renesme sat cross legged on her bed. She was wearing her usual attire of faded blue jeans, a faded T-shirt and bare feet. Her favorite blanket was on the bed. The softest fake fur that was available. She loved to snuggle with it at night; it reminded her of her beloved Jacob. Next to the bed was an 8X10 picture of Jacob sitting on the couch with her on his lap. Her dad had taken the picture, but she was sure she had heard a low growl as he took it. She sighed. Her dad was a little over protective of her. He had been fine when Jacob had imprinted on her as a baby because he knew it would come in handy for her to have another dedicated protector, but now that she was such a beautiful young lady, the thought of that mangy dog marrying his baby was becoming more and more repulsive. She had grown up so fast. She aged a few years every couple of months, so in 10 short years, she was quite the lady.

Vampires were unusually beautiful as it was, but Renesme turned out to be the most beautiful of all. With her perfect features, bronze hair that hung in curls and the slightest blush that seemed to be ever present. Her pouty lips that seemed almost off balanced, but slight enough to add to her beauty, giving her a more exotic look that seemed to draw people to her. And when she smiled, virtually anyone around would turn to putty.

It took Rosalie awhile to get used to not being the most extraordinarily beautiful woman around. It seemed that no matter what she did, change her hair, design clothes that fit her perfectly, accentuating each perfect shape, use make up to highlight each perfect feature, Renesme would prance in with cut off jeans, a sleeveless T-shirt and bare feet and the room would light up. At first, Rosalie sulked, and then she began to just let herself go, she would wear torn sweats around the house, purposely mousse her hair into funny shapes, and she deliberately picked clothes that clashed, driving Alice quite batty.

Finally, Carlisle suggested that she find a cause, a hobby, something to get her to look outside of herself. It was difficult after all the years of being so self focused, but then she realized that there were people around the world who lacked clean drinking water, so she dragged Emmett to the ends of the earth and they dug wells. Usually, they could dig several wells a night while the villagers slept and they would awaken to fresh clean water with nice covers and with initials RE engraved on them. They developed quite a reputation. Nobody ever saw them, and all they knew was that their wells had the sweetest water. Even though they had never been sighted, many stories were told about them. Ethiopia even declared "RE day" where everyone had the day off to play in the water. In Southern India, they came up with a new God:"The God of RE" who produced much sweet water. It looked more like a little mole, which irritated Rosalie, but she tried to swallow her pride and let it go. The people would bring cupfuls of water to pour at the God's feet. Each country had its own folklore about RE.

Rosalie found it a little fulfilling, more like tofu for her soul, but it was enough to keep her from a complete emotional breakdown. Emmett just liked to keep Rosalie happy. Besides, with all this traveling, he had a greater variety to his diet. He found the Siberian tigers to be even more fun to hunt than black bears. They were especially grumpy and put up the greatest fight when he would sneak up behind them and give their tails a good yank.

Renesme sat on her bed strumming her guitar, thinking up a sonnet for Jacob. She loved to play. She had songs she had written for everyone in the family. From the other room, she heard her father's low growl. That was usually the first indication that Jacob was on his way. She got off the bed and ran her fingers through her hair, even though it always looked perfect.

Bella heard Edward growl and was across the room in a flash. "Love! You need a distraction, let me distract you" as she looked up into his perfect, stone, godlike face and breathed her cool breath onto his neck. Her lips found that indentation under his ear and she pressed them lightly to his neck. He was distracted as he weaved his fingers through her hair and pulled her prefect, pale, stone like face to his and roughly began kissing her lips. He could never get used to her velvet feeling skin, her incredible scent, the feel of her ice cold lips, which felt rather warm to him at times like this."

"Mom! Dad! Knock it off!" Renesme snapped them back into reality. They unwove their bodies from one another and looked at her. Edward still had a panicked look on his face, as he slowly opened the door. Jacob was standing there with a big grin on his face. He opened his mouth to speak and suddenly Alice whisked by, knocking him out of the way: "I saw it! How about a winter theme? I can bring in snow, penguins, and polar bears!" Everyone just stood staring at her in disbelief. She stopped and thought: "Okay, how about a beach theme? Sand, palm trees, pineapples, flamingos, hermit crabs!"

Then Jasper appeared:"I sensed some tension here, so I came to see what I could do"

Jacob could stand it no longer: "This is MY moment; will all you bloodsuckers just shut up for a minute and let me have my moment? Alice stepped sheepishly back. Jasper followed, meeting Jacob's eyes briefly and flooding him with warm and fuzzy feelings. Then, he looked back at Edward and gave him a double dose.

"Come on Alice, let's go hunting" he said as he pulled her away.

Jacob just stood there. He had almost forgotten why he had come. He opened his mouth to speak and the wrath of Renesme came down on him. "Bloodsuckers! You called my family bloodsuckers!" Jacob stepped back; perhaps this wasn't the best day. His horoscope had said that he should stay close to home today; he should have listened to it.

Edward smiled his beautiful, godlike statuesque crooked smile. He liked the way this was going.

The mood had definitely passed. "Uh, I think I hear my pack calling me, I'll see you all later". Then he turned and ran, morphing into a wolf as he disappeared from sight.

"Mom, Dad, I'm going to the beach" Renesme decided after a few moments of silence.

Bella eyed Edward. Alone time? Well, she did have a few more outfits left that hadn't been ripped to shreds. Yet.

Renesme headed off to the beach at La Push. Seth was there waiting. He had heard the fight through the pack mind and figured he might go smooth the waters. He couldn't stand it when Jacob got frustrated. It was torture to the entire pack. Seth was in his wolf form. Renesme liked him better that way; he was more like a pet to her. He had a Frisbee in his mouth. This was her favorite game; it would cheer her up for sure. So, they spent the next hour playing Frisbee. She would throw it and he would leap up high and catch it in his mouth, then he would hurl it at her, the dog slobber drying in the wind so that it was dry by the time she caught it. It was great fun, but they finally were exhausted. Renesme sat on a log and Seth de-morphed and joined her.

"Jacob came by the house today, and it seemed like he had something important to say, But then Aunt Alice was there, and Uncle Jasper, then it seemed like Jacob changed his mind and left."

Seth knew exactly why Jacob was there, then entire pack knew, but he didn't want to steal Jacob's moment. Not that this was a big shock to anyone. They had imprinted at her birth and had been pretty constant companions since then.

They sat next to one another on the log and Renesme drew pictures in the sand with her toes. She was thoughtful. There was something she had always wondered: "Seth, I remember Jacob was at my house when I was born, but why? I thought that you all used to be arch enemies, vampires and werewolves, so why was he even there to imprint on me?"

Seth looked thoughtful. He wondered what he should say. The truth? What would Jacob want him to say? Well, enough people knew, she would find out eventually." Well, he and your mom were good friends when she was human. He was there to keep an eye on her." Something about the way he said it made her pause.

"Good friends, how good do you mean?" she asked suspiciously.

"Really good"

She raised her eyebrows. "Really?" This was something she had never considered. They way her mom acted, her Dad had been the only one ever in her life. She had been human, they had married, then he had changed her rafter Renesme had been born. A simple uncomplicated story.

"Do tell Seth…"

"Uh, well, let's leave it at that..." his eyes were big. He had said too much already. He wished he could take it back.

"Let's not leave it at that!"

Seth sighed, and began to share all the details of Jacob's undying love for her mom, the first kiss that was followed by her mom's broken hand. Then, the cold night when he was her own personal space heater. Then, more kisses. He was really glad that he was not in wolf form right now.

Renesme was overwhelmed. Jacob had told her that he wanted to wait until their wedding to even kiss, and here he had been laying all these lip locks on her mother! This was too much. She got up "I got to go" she murmured under her breath. Seth sat there pale, well, as pale as an Indian gets. He decided it would be wise to refrain from morphing into a wolf until all this was settled. He valued his life and the longer it was before Jacob heard what he had told Renesme, the better.

When Renesme got home, she went straight to her room. Her parents didn't notice anyway, they were busy gazing into each other's perfect, god and goddess-like faces. Renesme looked at the picture of Jacob and her, and then laid it flat. She picked up her guitar and began playing a different tune. Not a sweet melody like before, but a harsher one. A dark series of notes sprang forth. Anger emanated from each note.

But after awhile, her anger began to subside. From her earliest memory, she had loved only Jacob. As a child, that love had been the love of a child, but as she grew, so did her love for him, and only him. They were imprinted and had love only for each other, or so she had thought. And her mom? That was just too much. She slid off the furry bed and traipsed out of her room.

Her parents had taken a break from gazing into each other's perfect, beautiful, god like faces to work on their latest projects. Her mom was doing research for a series of books on monster myths from around the world. Her dad was putting his biology degrees to work and doing research on blood disorders. Of course, field work in this area was difficult, but he did great with the theories. He had, however, greatly improved in the area of self control around human blood, so he often assisted Carlisle at the hospital when they were short handed. He did great, unless there was an excessive loss of blood, and then he had to hold his breath so he wouldn't become overcome by the scent. This made communication difficult, so it was very useful that Edward could hear Carlisle's thoughts.

"I'm going over to talk to Esme and Carlisle" she muttered. Since her parents had superhuman hearing, they heard her fine though. She walked through the woods and across the yard to the house. She found Esme upstairs in her drafting room, "Uh, Esme, can I talk to you and Carlisle?" Esme dropped her pencil and it fell perfectly into place, then she almost flew across the room to Renesme's side. That was something she really loved about Esme, that no matter what she was doing, she would immediately drop it for anyone who needed her. Then, the two of them went to Carlisle's office.

He was sitting at his desk staring quizzically at some CT scans. He was such a dedicated doctor, even when he was at home; he was studying the especially difficult cases. He looked up at them and smiled: "Ah, two of my favorite ladies! What can I do for you? Here here, have a seat, get comfortable." He smiled as he motioned to some chairs. Although, he knew full well that vampires didn't need to sit and rest, they sat to humor him. It was good to practice being human.

Renesme breathed a big sigh: "Well, I was wondering… I know Esme was married before you two met, and I was wondering… Didn't it bother you marrying someone who had loved someone else?" It really was something she could not fathom since she had imprinted so young's tried to explain that her life before was a mere fog and she had to really concentrate to remember even the faintest of details, so it was as if he had always been the only one. Suddenly Jasper stuck his head in the room. "And they're not really married anyway" he grinned. Both Esme and Carlisle scowled at him.

"What!" Renesme jumped up, "for all these years, you have been living in… sin?" She was horrified.

"Well dear, it's not really like that, we have an eternal commitment and all." Esme tried to calm her gently.

Jasper cut in:"Yeah, marriage is not really a necessity in cases like this. Alice and I are partners for life, what do we need a minister for?"

Renesme just stared at him:"et tu Jasper, et tu? I mean, I expected something like this from Rosalie and Emmett, but not from you all"

"Well, actually, "Carlisle's gentle voice interjected softly, "Rosalie and Emmett have gotten married"

"Numerous times!" Jasper gaily announced.

Renesme's head was spinning. This was too much; everything she had always believed about her family was proving to be wrong. "Next, you'll tell me that Jacob isn't really a werewolf!" She gasped.

"Well, technically, he isn't, he's a shape shifter"

Renesme turned around and ran out of the house.

This was just too much; she had to get away, to think. Things were just too strange today. Maybe she had gotten a bad deer last time they had hunted or something. She just didn't feel right.

She kept running until she got to the beach at La Push. She loved to sit on the rocks and listen to the waves crash violently around her. It was soothing. She could ponder everything. She was deep in thought when she felt a hot hand on her shoulder. She didn't have to look up to know who it was. She looked up into Jacob's beautiful, reddish brown muscular, high cheek boned face. As he gazed into her eyes, she wondered how she could doubt his absolute dedication to her. He looked so enraptured, so sincere.

She looked down at the water again: "Why didn't you ever tell me about you and my mom?" He looked startled for an instant as if trying to pull up an exceedingly old memory. He didn't have to ask. He knew Seth was the culprit. He would pay for this… soon!

"Well, I just haven't thought about that in so long. As soon as I set eyes on you, my past became exceedingly dim. It's almost as if it never happened. I am permanently and irrevocably bonded to you now, there is nobody else but you in my heart"

Renesme suddenly felt very silly. How had she doubted his commitment? She had to know in her heart of hearts that his commitment to her was permanent. Still, it was hard to shake the feeling of…weirdness. Jacob wrapped his long, brown, sinewy, muscular arms around her and pulled her to his broad, hairless chest. Quite a contrast to the furry canine he was capable of becoming. His long black hair was pulled back in a long braid and fluttered in the breeze. His gentle voice was soothing her as he told her how imperishable his love for her was.

After awhile, her mind began to clear and she remembered the events of earlier in the day." Jacob, why was it that you came to the house earlier? You left without telling me."

He looked rather uncomfortable: "Well, I WAS going to ask your father for your hand in marriage, but with all those eavesdroppers around, I may never actually get to it." He scowled as he said this.

"Oh" She said thoughtfully, "I think he already knows though, I heard him growl. It was not the normal 'Jacob is here to take my little girl away' growl; it was a deeper one, more savage than usual"

Jacob rolled his eyes. How was he going to get past this impasse? Edward was never going to give him her hand in marriage. All he had really wanted him for was a protector. Nothing more. This was no longer enough for Jacob though.

Renesme had an idea, "Jacob, we don't have to get married, we already have an imperishable hold on one another." Jasper said that was what was really important. It was good enough for Esme and Carlisle and Alice and Jasper. They didn't need her dad's permission, or even his blessing. Jacob looked at her with bewilderment. No marriage? It didn't seem right, but what she said made sense and it would save a lot of time and energy, and really, it was so annoying when Edward growled at him, as if he was doing something wrong, to want to be with his beloved.

Yet, he sensed something wrong with this plan. He shook it off. Finally he spoke: "Yes, that would be good, let's go home, get your things and we'll just run off together."

They really should have known better. Maybe they were just not thinking, or just not taking the time to really think, or maybe their hormones were getting the best of them, clouding their judgment, but Alice was at the house before they were and by the look on Edward's face, they had been talking. There were just no secrets in this household. Even though she could not see Jacob and Renesme's futures, she could see Edward's and she saw that Edward was no longer giving his little girl away, but he was trying to kill Jacob, so she gathered the details.

Jacob and Renesme stood looking at the house. She was unsure of the wisdom of approaching her father at that particular moment. Jacob straightened his shoulders, "I'm not afraid of him, what can he do to me?"

Having never had a daughter, Jacob had no concept of the wrath of an overprotective daddy? As he stepped into the cottage, Edward flew across the room, knocking Jacob through the wall and muttering: "You will NOT steal my little girl's virtue".

"She's MY girl now!"

"Over my dead body"

"That can be arranged"

They were rolling across the lawn, hands on each other's necks. Renesme stood in shocked horror.

Alice screamed; "Jasper, we need you NOW!"

Jasper was there in an instant.

The ferocity melted away immediately. Jacob and Edward began hugging one another as if they had been friends forever.

Renesme also found this to be a bit too weird, but she knew as soon as Jasper left, the hug would end and the strangling would resume.

So, with the good feelings flowing, they were able to stand and discuss the future. It was decided that Esme and Carlisle, and Alice and Jasper would also get married, in order to set a good example. Alice was beside herself with gaiety at the thought of such a huge party.

So the plans were underway and the date was set. Wedding plans that involved Edward had to be limited to when Jasper was there to keep things calm, but finally, the day arrived.

Emmett and Rosalie had flown in for the event.

Edward managed to convince Jacob to go hunting with him. Jacob had been reluctant. He still was wary of Edward after the recent conflicts and he knew Edward still had hostile feelings for him. But Alice had seen Edward's future and it did not involve killing anything other than a few deer, so finally Jacob conceded. Jacob braced for the father – son in law talk, things like:"if you ever make my baby cry, I will tear you apart limb from limb" and the like. Jacob shuddered at the thought of ever hurting Renesme. Why couldn't Edward comprehend that he was not capable of ever hurting her?

Back at the house, Alice was getting the ladies ready. There wasn't so much to do with Renesme as anything added would just detract from her beauty. She wore an ankle length white dress and wore white sandals that laced up her ankles. Around her neck, she wore the locket that her mom had given her on her first Christmas. She still wore the bracelet that Jacob had given her. It had to be enlarged as she had grown, but it was still among her most cherished possessions.

Esme's dress was more traditional, white with pearl beadwork across the front.

Alice wore a knee length white dress with spaghetti straps. Rosalie was the maid of honor, for a change and wore a peach colored dress. All the dresses had been specially made in Italy, which was a waste. The ladies all were so beautiful, they really did not need to invest the time or expense, but Alice had fun with it, so the rest of them kept quiet.

Suddenly, Renesme noticed something in the distance coming rapidly closer. With her keener senses, Bella identified them first. Aro? Demetri? Alec? Jane? The Volturi. They were approaching in a straight line side by side. Bella had not seen them since that awful day ten years ago when they had come to put Renesme to death, believing her to be an immortal child. It was only by bringing in witnesses to testify that she was indeed a half vampire/half human and presented no threat to the Vampire way of life that they had let her live and left the family to their happy ever after._ What on earth could they want now_?

They stopped about 20 yards away. Bella and Renesme stood side by side watching them cautiously. Bella immediately put he shield up to protect not only Renesme and herself, but also everyone in the house, just in case.

After what seemed like an eternal silence, Aro spoke:" I regret to inform you that according to paragraph iii, subsection 7, of the Vampire code of ethics, you are in violation of one of our most sacred of rules. We have come to execute judgment."

"What rule?"

"According to our code, marrying a werewolf is prohibited and even the thought of it is punishable by death" Aro said with a straight face.

He obviously had underestimated the protective wrath of a mother.

Bella let down her guard and flew across the yard at vampire speed. A sonic boom resounded through the forest. A few miles away, Edward and Jacob stopped their hunt and looked at each other quizzically.

Almost immediately Bella was on Aro ripping her teeth into his neck. Aro emitted a howl of pain and at the same moment, Bella noticed how much he stank. "Ewww!" she jerked her head back. At the same moment, Aro de-morphed into Seth.

Bella screamed: "Seth! I'm going to rip you to bits!" He rubbed his neck, "You got a good start"

When Edward had announced to the Voltori that they were not werewolves, but were actually shape shifters, Leah had gotten curious. Shape shifter would mean that they should be able to shift to ANY shape they chose. She did some research on the internet and even contacted shape shifters in Europe and Asia. It involved a lot of concentration and initially, she could only shift into canine-like forms, but soon, she began to get the knack of it and could eventually shift into any other animal she chose. When she had mastered the techniques, she shared them with the rest of the pack. They began to have a lot of fun with practical jokes. When they morphed into Minister Mr. Weber and married a few people, they got into a lot of trouble. They thought it was hilarious, but others never seemed to appreciate their humor.

The Volturi assumed their wolf forms and raced away with their tails tucked between their legs.

Bella was torn between a huge sense of relief and an overwhelming annoyance. These would be her relatives before the day was over. Oh joy, would there be no end to the immature games?

From a distance, they heard Jacob howl with laughter. He had finally tapped into the wolf psyche and heard about what had transpired. He thought it was hilarious. Edward, reading his thoughts began growling once again. What was he ever going to do with these immature pups?

That afternoon, they were all gathered around the house. The friends of the groom all dressed in traditional Quileute attire. Billy officiated. He was the tribal religious leader and it only seemed fitting to have a traditional Quileute ceremony. After a lot of screeching and hopping around, Billy announced to the couples:"I now pronounce you husband and wife and husband and wife and husband and wife."

Carlisle and Esme and Alice and Jasper disappeared toward the house. Jacob and Renesme left to start their own happily ever after. Edward and Bella stood with their arms around each other watching their little girl leaving them to start her own life. It still seemed way too soon. Edward growled a low growl, but it was not anger as much as sadness, of knowing that from now on, things would be different. Renesme no longer was their little girl, but now was Jacob's wife. She was off to start a new life with him.

Bella looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye:" Distraction time?" He gave a huge crooked grin and swooped her into his arms and they were off to their little house.


End file.
